i hate midweek, i always find myself with a mind full of things that i need to do and things that i haven't done. both always come to haunt you when you need to get some sleep. I'm a late sleeper anyway and i always find myself with a film or a series of programs that i will watch until I'm sleepy and then i drop off, but this has had to stop since i started working as late nights don't mix well with a full flock.
still i find myself not sleeping until 1:00am and although im fine during the day i feel a little tired when i get home but come bed time and I'm sat here reading or watching a film. i cant just lie here close my eyes and fall asleep, because when i do my brain goes into overdrive and i start to plan things or remember things.
some people may say that this is because you have things bothering you and i would agree but I'm not the type of person who doesn't sleep because of that its more the fact that if I'm not tired i wont sleep.
ha ha ha this is starting to sound like some tired person just typing away in the hope that he may get tired and go to sleep well it is but I'm starting to think about sleeping now and this could prevent me from sleeping. my partner, now she can sleep in fact she sleeps even when she is not tired and although she has slept most of the day, well lets see since about 8:00 straight through now plus a little nap in the afternoon. i just know that tomorrow she will come home and have another sleep with no problems or any effect on sleeping later on.
one of the things i hate most of all is that when i finally do go to sleep i will have the most fantastic sleep until my alarm goes earlier than i expected and i have to play the snooze game with the clock. this making it even harder to get up and leaving me wishing for the weekend to hurry so i can have a lie in. However you know that when the weekend comes you never have the lie in that you always wanted or the one that you have dreamed about all week. it just will not be the same and you end up getting up abandoning it.
the best kind of sleep is the afternoon nap, this is great you sit their on the couch watching tv or listening to some tunes when you feel your eyes getting heavy and start to drop. you know its happening and you try with all you might not to wake you body up and stop it from happening its like your watching yourself fall asleep from the outside but it feels like your sinking into cloud, and then BEEP BEEP BEEP that bastard mobile phone alarm that you forgot to turn off suddenly for no reason goes off and your awake.

Technology Take Over

Apparently us Brits are becoming addicted to technology, well so it says here. And this may effect our social skills, well if you take a look around Britain today and the general filth that is walking our streets it really dose not make you want to be very social. so if we take comfort in socializing using technology it maybe because its cleaner and safer to some degree.
then again you also have to realize that this information has come from one of those studies that is government funded and as you read on they stick in the usual it can cause physical illness shit, yes with this i must agree i have just pulled a muscle in my index finger!!

Takes Me Back

Had a rough week with my body not knowing if it has a cold or flu, so instead it just gave me a taste of both leaving me feeling rough and very tired. Not very entertaining for the flock i have every day.
Anyway this week saw the birthday of a front man who's band debut album was the first album i bought. Kurt Cobain of Nirvana would have been 41 on Wednesday if he hadn't chewed on loaded shotgun. tonight they played a unplugged session on the TVA and while i reminisces to my partner about having long hair and getting an undercut. The grunge following saw me not take a bath for long periods of time and try to form a band with my mates ( who's name was Seth ). we would sit in his room playing very load nirvana tracks and try to master a bass guitar, which Thud has recently told me is so easy to master that a man with one arm could play it. However it never really caught on and so i got dropped from the band.
It also just reminded me how obvious it was that myself and the other followers of grunge and Cobain all became fans around 1994 (the time Cobain had a taste to gun metal).
this opened my ears to all kinds of music and after many years of Kylie and bros (i have an older sister) it was so refreshing listening to albums such as Nirvana Nevermind, Greenday Dookie, Offspring Smash, Metallica, and Stone Temple Pilots. and when i play them today they not only sound fresh but it takes me back.

PS spell check is now working so you can stop laughing at me spellings its the computers fault!!!!

Conversation Suicide

i have been reading tonight about the tragic deaths in bridgend. seventeen suicides since the beginning of last year and most recent of those seventeen are the seven which seem to be connected. this sort on news makes you think how teenagers are feeling and what could possibly push them into a definite decision to take their lives. the thought that the victims may have felt so much grief for their friends that the only way out is by rope.
id hate to think my flock would find their life so terrible that they feel this would be the only answer. i think from some perspectives the answer could be in communication and the lack of this in todays environment. i constantly hear and see children brought up in front of a TV or video games. parents neglect to use the time out of school to teach their children to communicate to each other. i grew up in a house that had dinner and tea around the table as a family and even when my parents split up we still managed to sit around a table to eat.
the point is at this time this is here children learn to talk to each other and make conversation about things that they do through the day and things that would like to to do building up a trust and a relationship with their parents.
i always felt that i could talk to mother about anything no matter what it was i could tell her and anything that was troubling me i could always go to her. this was not to say that when i had been bad that she was not been disappointed but i always new i could tell and talk through my problems.
its been mentioned that maybe the internet may be connected but this can just been has another black mark against the webb. people have been taught to communicate with different technologies and yet the one true way to connect to one another is a skill that todays children do not have, conversation.

Back to School

well my week has gone so very quickly and its that time of night that i realise i have done nothing all week when really i should have done at least a little. anyhow no mither its only four weeks till my next break bring it on. i love mondays !!

working together my arse

im so angry right now and so very disappointed in our NHS. i recently attended a meeting concerning safe guarding in schools. this looked at a policy known as every child matters and in particular a a young child called Victoria Climbie. the story of this young girl upset me and made me feel so very angry with my profession, how can we stand by and let this happen to a young innocent girl and why had we not said anything. then after this atrosity had happened the government in 2003 put in place a policy to ensure nothing like this would ever happen again. how can people not see such abuse.
Seven-week-old Jessica was physically and sexually abused by her father Andrew Randall, of Havelock Street in Kettering, who was jailed for life last year.
Jessica, who had more than 20 injuries at the time of her death, was seen by health professionals on 11 occasions but was never recognised as a child at risk and in need of protection.
Staff at Kettering General Hospital did raise concerns about her welfare but she was discharged from hospital on November 14, 2005.
Six days later, she was dead.
bring back the death penalty please these people should only be taken from this earth not let live in such luxury prisons and treated like specimens. i really can not understand how these doctors nurses and health carers did not see this happening to a young baby why did nobody say anything.
this is a loss that should not have happened and a baby a person that could have been saved.
rest in piece Jessica hope life is so very different for you now.

Iron Bin Men

today has been a great day for walking and exploring and when you live in a city its great to break free of the smog and noise and see what lies beyond the concrete forests. in fact its been two days on the trot that my partner and i have broke free, the first being a long awaited trip to see the iron men on crosby beach. iv waited so long to see these guys and the first attempt saw me on the completely wrong beach. however we made it and the other half still feeling under the weather made the butties bless her. what a great sight these men stood spread out, some in the water just visible and some fully visible standing on the beach and yet completely surrounded by rubbish!! yes thats right here it is a art piece that liverpool campaigned to keep and paid out money to ensure they were kept at Crosby beach just so they could be surrounded by garbage. to be honest if this is how the council is going to treat this great sight then the artist himself should pack up his men and stand them in a land fill. to see this sight is like going to the tate gallery and someone letting their dog take a shit by Gustav Klimt's work (some may say this is art too) but really this is pretty piss poor. Nevertheless we took some great pictures and nether of us stood on any broken glass it was a nice day. to see these statues take a battering through all weathers makes you feel for them. i totally understand that they are just iron statues and im not getting all arty farty i just think the least Gormley could have done was throw on a pair of speedos and a coat of hammerite.
today saw us on the other side of the water with family venturing out to see what the wirral has to offer. as before we have a great guide a bit of an history enthusiast which always leads us down the right lanes to some secret village or forgotten castle. being from the sticks i love to get out and in the open to smell some real sheep shit air. i keep telling my partner that its the best way to deal with a cold, the fresh air. shes not convinced yet.
standing on Bidston hill looking over across to liverpool is a fantastic sight and if you turn and look the other way you can see out to sea and as you stand there you feel a hundred miles away from anywhere, personally it takes me back to the roaches the grit stone and moors with great views but also the feeling of being somewhere so very very old.

Shite TV

It's monday evening and i'm sat on my slightly busted couch with the last drop of a very fine bottle of red and while i surf the net and read all the very different blogs that i'm enjoying at the moment my partner sits and flicks through the channels. i say flicks because as usual there is pretty much fuck all on worth watching ( this is why after a conversation with thud the other night iv started to download a series a Macgyver, love it). but while she goes through the channels i see what more crap is to come such as someones bright idea to share with us the inside life of Kerry Katona, this common Warrington chav with serious mental problems famed now more so for the iceland adverts than for the fact she was in some girl band. why, i ask do people really want to watch the honestly ugly bint. she sounds and acts like shes in her 40's. im aware she had some drug issues but when they said calm down im sure they didnt mean turn you life into some sad effort living on iceland food and having shite tv come in a watch you for a few weeks.
then we move to the more entertaining issue of wife swap. this pile of horse shit basically splits two very different families up in the hope that there will be a scrap, why dont they just put cage fighting on the TV and then we wouldnt have to go through half and hour of complete regurgitated matter to see a fight, or even better re runs of the WWF there is way more truth in that.
im really starting to understand why men take control of the remote because you really can not give this responsibility to the ladies not when the likes of dancing on ice or this e4 vanity lair is ripping the life out of people. im so glad i went out today and got some fresh sea air or im sure i would have had to have sat through that twat Jeremy Kyle.

The US Gives Me Wine and The Wire

i get a week off oh yes, and its funny because although i enjoy my new career im on count down for the summer where im planning a few weeks in the US. this could then lead to a new life in the future who knows. but i do know this, i feel more than ever that this country is not the place i want to bring a family into. i always thought that i would return back to the sticks at some point in my life to live and although that the thought is still in my mind a new thought of moving further afield is ever more present. as a 26 year old the politics of this country would not normally effect my age group but things are happening in this country that are changing the way that i feel . this feeling is not something i like to feel and anger at seeing a country with so much history folding to this simple invasion.
however i will enjoy my so called free time this week i have downloaded 5 episodes of the very new series of the wire so ill be happy for a couple of days before i need to get back to work. i also look forward to enjoying some fine wine brought right from the Nappa Valley. nice one Thud.
and joining me in my free time is my partner who is somewhat feeling a bad cold and run down a typical problem that comes with our line of work. ill keep making the lemon sips as i pour the wine.