Is there life after Graduation?
its done, its finished university has been completed and now its time to get on with life. 'Get on with your life', that is what my father has been saying to me lately, now that i am finished its time to get on with my life. that's easy to say but you have to know where your going to just get on with it. for me i suppose its easy i finished university with a good degree and unlike a lot of graduates i have a job in the area that i have studied.
The past two months have raced, iv moved out of my student digs and into a new home with my partner, a huge move for me, something that i never really saw doing but so far i enjoy it and its nice to wake up with someone you love.
I have started my new job which gives me a good warm feeling of stability and in a week my partner and i will go on holiday the first in a long time and hopefully the beginning of many. so all is good.........
well maybe, you see when you think that all is good something has to come and smack you in the chops. ill explain.
being a family of the 21st century my parents are divorced and have been for the past 13 years. both my parents have partners now and live their very different lives away from each other. the friction between my two parents have always been there as it was my father that strayed and left my mum and this left a nasty taste in my families mouths for a long while, however 13 years have passed and the taste has faded. until last week, you see when you graduate in my university you are only given two tickets to give the family. so they can come watch you get that very sweaty handshake by some overdressed toff who cant pronounce your name correctly. (you don't get your scroll till later in the year) two tickets for a guy who has to families and he cares about them equally, straight away i knew this was gonna put some noses out of joint.
for eye looking in on the day it went well, we looked a happy family, mother, father sisters, brothers and little niece. however if people could see what was really going on they would realise that things were less than happy.
my father had been deeply hurt that i had chosen to keep is partner out of the day, my mother understood why her partner could not be there and there was no problem. but the decision to keep my fathers partner out of this special day had caused eruptions and and my father was now torn. he did not stay for the meal in fact he didn't even stay for a drink or to see my new apartment that i had just moved into with my partner. instead he made a lame excuse that he had to leave. i later found out that this as a condition made by his partner that if he should come to the graduation he must not stay any longer than the ceremony. and there it is.
the point when you realise that your father, your blood has made the choice but what hurts is that he can twist it around to make me feel bad for me wanting my family at my graduation. this whole situation goes even deeper in to what is a longer petty story that once only pushed away his family, his mother and brothers and sisters but now i fear that this could result in him pushing away his own son.
i can see this happening and although i do not want this to happen i am standing firm that i will not apologise for my achievement and will not back down.
so is there life Graduation? well i have a job, a lovely home and my partner loves me as much as i do her. i think so.
The past two months have raced, iv moved out of my student digs and into a new home with my partner, a huge move for me, something that i never really saw doing but so far i enjoy it and its nice to wake up with someone you love.
I have started my new job which gives me a good warm feeling of stability and in a week my partner and i will go on holiday the first in a long time and hopefully the beginning of many. so all is good.........
well maybe, you see when you think that all is good something has to come and smack you in the chops. ill explain.
being a family of the 21st century my parents are divorced and have been for the past 13 years. both my parents have partners now and live their very different lives away from each other. the friction between my two parents have always been there as it was my father that strayed and left my mum and this left a nasty taste in my families mouths for a long while, however 13 years have passed and the taste has faded. until last week, you see when you graduate in my university you are only given two tickets to give the family. so they can come watch you get that very sweaty handshake by some overdressed toff who cant pronounce your name correctly. (you don't get your scroll till later in the year) two tickets for a guy who has to families and he cares about them equally, straight away i knew this was gonna put some noses out of joint.
for eye looking in on the day it went well, we looked a happy family, mother, father sisters, brothers and little niece. however if people could see what was really going on they would realise that things were less than happy.
my father had been deeply hurt that i had chosen to keep is partner out of the day, my mother understood why her partner could not be there and there was no problem. but the decision to keep my fathers partner out of this special day had caused eruptions and and my father was now torn. he did not stay for the meal in fact he didn't even stay for a drink or to see my new apartment that i had just moved into with my partner. instead he made a lame excuse that he had to leave. i later found out that this as a condition made by his partner that if he should come to the graduation he must not stay any longer than the ceremony. and there it is.
the point when you realise that your father, your blood has made the choice but what hurts is that he can twist it around to make me feel bad for me wanting my family at my graduation. this whole situation goes even deeper in to what is a longer petty story that once only pushed away his family, his mother and brothers and sisters but now i fear that this could result in him pushing away his own son.
i can see this happening and although i do not want this to happen i am standing firm that i will not apologise for my achievement and will not back down.
so is there life Graduation? well i have a job, a lovely home and my partner loves me as much as i do her. i think so.
stresssed!!!!!!!!!!!
my god what sort of weekend have i had? I'm two weeks away from completing my degree and finishing education for a very long time. the only thing that stands between me and the end to uni life is a 4000 word essay on transition which is in on Friday this week and i haven't started it yet, a 8000 word dissertation which i have started and have around two weeks and finally my evidence files that's in two weeks from now. plenty of time hahaahahah yeah it is loads of time if you can keep you head together but that's not always the cases. you can always rely on something to get you even more stressed out when your peaking as it is and nobody does that better than family.
yeah family is one the most successful ways to stress a person out i think, they just know what buttons to press and when to be absolute pain in the arses.
my weekend was planned, i had moved back into the flat after a month living with my girlfriend house sitting well more of a trial to see how we live together before we move in. to find the flat to be infested with shit, crap, mess and oh yeah mice. nice one the place was awful it was that bad you could smell the mice!! what is it that my housemate cant clean up that they would live in the house in those conditions prepare food in a kitchen that clearly smells wrong and after closer inspection you can see that there are mouse droppings on the work surface. how? why? I'm just struck with shock that people would live like this.
so the sucker i am, i spent about 4 hours cleaning the flat top to bottom went through a bottle of bleach and scrubbed the floors, bath, shower and toilets just totally blasted the place. bear in mind that this is time i should be using to finish my work but no I'm cleaning other peoples mess just so i know that when i make a sandwich i don't catch the plague from the mice droppings on the chopping board. but i find this to sooth me get me in the mood to sit and take part in my work it felt good apart from finding my Dyson hover to be broken, and before you say what a woman the Dyson Hoover is an absolute fantastic design and one my favourite things to look at just genius and 100% British get in!!!.
so I'm sitting in my clean flat no one in and ready to produce the work that will end my time in uni and what happens but it starts to buzz and move yeah the phone and what comes next is just enough family crisis shit that blows you mind because of the selfishness and stupidity of those close to you and all you can do is lose you rag, scream, shout and swear and all for what but to get you so wound up its all you can think off, all you can worry about you mind goes to pot. the details of the argument is not important in fact its something so easily dealt with but blown out of proportion maybe simple words could have dealt with this but instead this is my family where every thing just blows out of control and people get involved and for what, why dose this happen? that's what you ask yourself.
its now Monday iv wasted two nearly three days troubled with this and to finally just try and get my work done feels like such a task the want to start it but the want to just go back to bed and get up tomorrow is unbelievable. if it had been a relationship problem then it would be different but its not I'm not even pissed off about m Dyson that much or the fact that i live in a mouse infested shit hole where my house mates really don't care about the state of the place. no its family, and that kind of aggro is the type that stresses you out more and to get this now this week this month knowing that it all rests on this next two weeks fucks me off, to argue over stupid selfish things.
put me on a plane get the fuck out of this place and do me a favor throw away my fucking mobile phone!!
yeah family is one the most successful ways to stress a person out i think, they just know what buttons to press and when to be absolute pain in the arses.
my weekend was planned, i had moved back into the flat after a month living with my girlfriend house sitting well more of a trial to see how we live together before we move in. to find the flat to be infested with shit, crap, mess and oh yeah mice. nice one the place was awful it was that bad you could smell the mice!! what is it that my housemate cant clean up that they would live in the house in those conditions prepare food in a kitchen that clearly smells wrong and after closer inspection you can see that there are mouse droppings on the work surface. how? why? I'm just struck with shock that people would live like this.
so the sucker i am, i spent about 4 hours cleaning the flat top to bottom went through a bottle of bleach and scrubbed the floors, bath, shower and toilets just totally blasted the place. bear in mind that this is time i should be using to finish my work but no I'm cleaning other peoples mess just so i know that when i make a sandwich i don't catch the plague from the mice droppings on the chopping board. but i find this to sooth me get me in the mood to sit and take part in my work it felt good apart from finding my Dyson hover to be broken, and before you say what a woman the Dyson Hoover is an absolute fantastic design and one my favourite things to look at just genius and 100% British get in!!!.
so I'm sitting in my clean flat no one in and ready to produce the work that will end my time in uni and what happens but it starts to buzz and move yeah the phone and what comes next is just enough family crisis shit that blows you mind because of the selfishness and stupidity of those close to you and all you can do is lose you rag, scream, shout and swear and all for what but to get you so wound up its all you can think off, all you can worry about you mind goes to pot. the details of the argument is not important in fact its something so easily dealt with but blown out of proportion maybe simple words could have dealt with this but instead this is my family where every thing just blows out of control and people get involved and for what, why dose this happen? that's what you ask yourself.
its now Monday iv wasted two nearly three days troubled with this and to finally just try and get my work done feels like such a task the want to start it but the want to just go back to bed and get up tomorrow is unbelievable. if it had been a relationship problem then it would be different but its not I'm not even pissed off about m Dyson that much or the fact that i live in a mouse infested shit hole where my house mates really don't care about the state of the place. no its family, and that kind of aggro is the type that stresses you out more and to get this now this week this month knowing that it all rests on this next two weeks fucks me off, to argue over stupid selfish things.
put me on a plane get the fuck out of this place and do me a favor throw away my fucking mobile phone!!
my own insecurity
iv never thought of myself of having any insecurity, in fact I'm shocked that i ever thought that. if we look at today's environment and how people perceive themselves there is a great focus on the way we look, are we too fat or too skinny?, do we wear the correct cloths or should we be individual?, are we gay, straight or bi? well its a pretty fucked up world and these insecurities are evident everywhere. in fact i was home visiting my family very recently and while throwing my little niece around giving her tickles and blowing raspberries on her belly, u know the sort a thing a soft uncle would do. i called her chubby monkey only to get a discerning look off her mother, my sister. what i asked and can you believe this i had to be careful what i said because my 2 year old niece thinks shes fat!!!!. what the hell is going on, i pulled my mother and my sisters aside at this point to view my concern that at an unbelievable young age this was coming out her mouth never mind the fact that she was worried, a 2 year worried!!!! what should they be worried about???!!!
after thinking about this it is so possible that she can think this way, every where you look today you find something concerning the state of the body and diets, woman are obsessed with diets they talk about this day in day out what kind there on, what works, how much they have lost its possible that this topic could be 70% of what they actually talk about. you turn on the the telly and its in commercials, soaps, dramas, comedies, films, reality programs and documentaries. you open a magazine its there again, commercials, articles and advice. its every where!!!!
i agree in the whole healthy eating but what is actually being done here is brain washing on a mass scale, its now part of every thing we take in and we really don't see it until you wake one morning and you 5 year daughter or son turns to you at the breakfast table and says "ill just have a rivita mum I'm watching my weight".
now iv never had a problem with my weight, I'm not fat but i get told on a very regular basis that i need to put weight on, iv been the same weight for the best part 10 years. I'm not overly skinny my weight fits my frame and to be honest it pisses me off more than makes me feel concerned. no to i have no in securities would be wrong as iv found out, my biggest insecurity is believing that my bubble will burst and that i will lose everything so very easily. this is a very weird feeling and i cant really understand why i feel this. it starts with uni, i always felt that at some point some one was going to call me up and say there was a mistake and that i should not be there this has made me very nervous abut my work although I'm seen to be very confident. the other is my relationship. I'm possibly in the best relationship iv ever been in or ever will be in, my love with out sounding soppy is immense but i have this felling that she will soon go, leave me find something about me that she wont want. well what do i have to hide, the answer to that is nothing she can know all she wants but she has to ask. as you know from earlier I'm always very honest with her but i do find this very hard. she doesn't pry but she dose ask question in a way that always makes me nervous and i don't know why this is, it makes me feel guilty but i have nothing to be guilty for.
where do these insecurities come from? are they put there do think or maybe they grow through life's experiences. i think both, healthy are the ones that come through life but maybe the ones that are put there by the third person are to be destructive.
after thinking about this it is so possible that she can think this way, every where you look today you find something concerning the state of the body and diets, woman are obsessed with diets they talk about this day in day out what kind there on, what works, how much they have lost its possible that this topic could be 70% of what they actually talk about. you turn on the the telly and its in commercials, soaps, dramas, comedies, films, reality programs and documentaries. you open a magazine its there again, commercials, articles and advice. its every where!!!!
i agree in the whole healthy eating but what is actually being done here is brain washing on a mass scale, its now part of every thing we take in and we really don't see it until you wake one morning and you 5 year daughter or son turns to you at the breakfast table and says "ill just have a rivita mum I'm watching my weight".
now iv never had a problem with my weight, I'm not fat but i get told on a very regular basis that i need to put weight on, iv been the same weight for the best part 10 years. I'm not overly skinny my weight fits my frame and to be honest it pisses me off more than makes me feel concerned. no to i have no in securities would be wrong as iv found out, my biggest insecurity is believing that my bubble will burst and that i will lose everything so very easily. this is a very weird feeling and i cant really understand why i feel this. it starts with uni, i always felt that at some point some one was going to call me up and say there was a mistake and that i should not be there this has made me very nervous abut my work although I'm seen to be very confident. the other is my relationship. I'm possibly in the best relationship iv ever been in or ever will be in, my love with out sounding soppy is immense but i have this felling that she will soon go, leave me find something about me that she wont want. well what do i have to hide, the answer to that is nothing she can know all she wants but she has to ask. as you know from earlier I'm always very honest with her but i do find this very hard. she doesn't pry but she dose ask question in a way that always makes me nervous and i don't know why this is, it makes me feel guilty but i have nothing to be guilty for.
where do these insecurities come from? are they put there do think or maybe they grow through life's experiences. i think both, healthy are the ones that come through life but maybe the ones that are put there by the third person are to be destructive.
festive to festering
The Christmas period has come and gone and what is left but the old bits of turkey festering in the back of my fridge as well as the stale cake that i brought home from my mothers. is it me or do we all start to loose the festive feeling when we get past a certain age and do we only regain that feeling when we have children of our own. iv never really enjoyed Christmas for a long time and always been called a bit of a Grinch but yet i think i forget what is good about Christmas, is it the getting together of family, sharing gifts and showing your love to loved ones, or for many who choose the religious life its about that book and the characters in it.
for me we should spend time with family throughout the year and always show those who you love that they are loved and as for the gift thing its to stressful so why bother? you will more than likely get it wrong unless they pick it and that ruins the surprise.
most of my festive period which was only three days, was spend over indulging on the liquid variety but taking to to see my family and sick grandmother who i love dearly.
unfortunately my grandmother is unwell, and just very recently she suffered a stroke which has left her very still. prior to this i visited her in hospital, she didn't want to be mithered over Christmas and as part of her own choice she decided to stay in hospital Christmas day, this i wasn't so happy about but yet what can you do.
after i was told of her stroke which happened three days ago i found myself filled with guilt and anger not only with myself but others too. where there things i could have done or should i have tried harder to get her to come out of hospital over Christmas. the thing is ill never know no but it is some thing that's plays on my mind day to day.
for me we should spend time with family throughout the year and always show those who you love that they are loved and as for the gift thing its to stressful so why bother? you will more than likely get it wrong unless they pick it and that ruins the surprise.
most of my festive period which was only three days, was spend over indulging on the liquid variety but taking to to see my family and sick grandmother who i love dearly.
unfortunately my grandmother is unwell, and just very recently she suffered a stroke which has left her very still. prior to this i visited her in hospital, she didn't want to be mithered over Christmas and as part of her own choice she decided to stay in hospital Christmas day, this i wasn't so happy about but yet what can you do.
after i was told of her stroke which happened three days ago i found myself filled with guilt and anger not only with myself but others too. where there things i could have done or should i have tried harder to get her to come out of hospital over Christmas. the thing is ill never know no but it is some thing that's plays on my mind day to day.
feeding your nose with other peoples money
well what a weekend, i can honestly say it will one I'm willing to never experience again. when you work with alot of different personalities you find yourself being friends with the most of unlikely people and that great. these are the friends that you learn so much from about many things that you would go out and learn on your own. you also experience times with them during in and out of work that go down in your mental memory as being some of the best times.
however out of all these people there are always going to be the one that you wish you never met or wish you didn't have to work with. the person that when you start makes you feel welcome but late on you find out to be a complete arse that make you want to kick yourself for saying good things about.
i have a part time job in a busy shop, it great. the boss can be a complete idiot that just doesn't think when he opens his mouth and yet you find him to be a very good friend with a good heart and the staff are all up for it, loads of banter and just know bitchiness. well there didn't use to be.
apart from the boss and the subject of this rant who i will call Daniella. i am the longest serving employee, which you may think iv done some time in this shop but you would be wrong, you see iv only worked there for just under a year and the turn over of staff is huge.
Daniella is a nice fella, well use to be i think because i cant see a nasty bone in him i just see this messed up lad that wont admit to his wrong doing. you see Daniella as you may have guessed by his name likes the smell of the white powder and he likes so much that he sniffs alot, sniffs until his pockets are empty and then until his account is empty.
I'm not a stranger to drugs and I'm not a stranger to this particular drug, i would say iv experienced the effect but iv also experienced the destruction of drugs. from my mid teenage years i have always been aware of drugs and i come from a little backward town where you would least expect it but by the time i was 18 id had my hand in the cookie jar and had quite a few sugar rushes. friends and people i knew fell victim to the sweet taste, some worst than others and I'm sorry to say one of my oldest friends died a few years back from it.
it not just the addiction that effects people but its the personality change that effects the people around them, deceit, lies, deviousness are in there but hidden behind the face of the person you think you know. and you will only find out this when is to late because you don't want to believe that this is happening.
Daniella has worked for the company for a very long time and i would go as far to say been given the respect by all that has work with him past and present. hes worked with the boss side by side all this time opening new shops and celebrating success. Daniella was known at one time to the boss's right hand and if he wasn't around Daniella would be the one to talk to. this would be a position that could have held a very good career.
the past four months have been busy opening new shops getting more staff in, training and ensuring the shops run like clockwork has been stressful. as a part timer i have put in alot of time and found myself very involved in it all which i have enjoyed but had to get back to my original goal.
the stress took its toll on the boss and other staff but four months on we pulled through and the shop works well but not with out casualties. too many parties and late nights has taken its toll on Daniella and nights out and parties were happening every night, and as the nights went on the taste got sweeter but the price got bigger and then it happened......... money went missing from tills, the final weeks take, petty cash and floats. money had been lent from staff and friends even people he bearly knew with a promise to pay them next day, 'just come in the shop tomorrow ill sort you out, iv just left my card at home'.
it was time tell the boss other people were putting money back in the till because they had used the till that day, it must be their mistake because there is an element of trust in this shop so it must be a mistake, wrong change not paying attention.
but how do you tell the boss that his right hand man, the person hes work with for such a long time had been taking the money, dipping in the take to feed his nose, the mangers had tried to but shyed away from this again, and i knew that someone was going to let him get away with it and put the money back.
i accused Daniella at the end of the day in front of one manager, give him some dignity the staff all knew it was him and what was going on but this needed to be done in private away from the staff. i accused and he denied but of course he would, lie come second nature but he will trip up so i carried on as his face went white and he tried to to deny it more but i could not listen to the babbling lies and i could not go back on what id said i believed in what id said and was standing by it then comes the other part of the reaction, aggression. Daniella squared up to me, hes about the same size as me which isn't very big so that didn't phase me or stop me it had to be said and he needed to hear it. it was done and id started to walk away from him, let him leave the shop don't search him just let him go it was out of our hands now and it was left to the boss to deal with it.
for the rest of this weekend iv felt guilty and unsure on what iv accused Daniella of, was i right to do it. id already come to the conclusion that i had gone about it in the wrong way but i am standing by what iv said and my accusation.
however out of all these people there are always going to be the one that you wish you never met or wish you didn't have to work with. the person that when you start makes you feel welcome but late on you find out to be a complete arse that make you want to kick yourself for saying good things about.
i have a part time job in a busy shop, it great. the boss can be a complete idiot that just doesn't think when he opens his mouth and yet you find him to be a very good friend with a good heart and the staff are all up for it, loads of banter and just know bitchiness. well there didn't use to be.
apart from the boss and the subject of this rant who i will call Daniella. i am the longest serving employee, which you may think iv done some time in this shop but you would be wrong, you see iv only worked there for just under a year and the turn over of staff is huge.
Daniella is a nice fella, well use to be i think because i cant see a nasty bone in him i just see this messed up lad that wont admit to his wrong doing. you see Daniella as you may have guessed by his name likes the smell of the white powder and he likes so much that he sniffs alot, sniffs until his pockets are empty and then until his account is empty.
I'm not a stranger to drugs and I'm not a stranger to this particular drug, i would say iv experienced the effect but iv also experienced the destruction of drugs. from my mid teenage years i have always been aware of drugs and i come from a little backward town where you would least expect it but by the time i was 18 id had my hand in the cookie jar and had quite a few sugar rushes. friends and people i knew fell victim to the sweet taste, some worst than others and I'm sorry to say one of my oldest friends died a few years back from it.
it not just the addiction that effects people but its the personality change that effects the people around them, deceit, lies, deviousness are in there but hidden behind the face of the person you think you know. and you will only find out this when is to late because you don't want to believe that this is happening.
Daniella has worked for the company for a very long time and i would go as far to say been given the respect by all that has work with him past and present. hes worked with the boss side by side all this time opening new shops and celebrating success. Daniella was known at one time to the boss's right hand and if he wasn't around Daniella would be the one to talk to. this would be a position that could have held a very good career.
the past four months have been busy opening new shops getting more staff in, training and ensuring the shops run like clockwork has been stressful. as a part timer i have put in alot of time and found myself very involved in it all which i have enjoyed but had to get back to my original goal.
the stress took its toll on the boss and other staff but four months on we pulled through and the shop works well but not with out casualties. too many parties and late nights has taken its toll on Daniella and nights out and parties were happening every night, and as the nights went on the taste got sweeter but the price got bigger and then it happened......... money went missing from tills, the final weeks take, petty cash and floats. money had been lent from staff and friends even people he bearly knew with a promise to pay them next day, 'just come in the shop tomorrow ill sort you out, iv just left my card at home'.
it was time tell the boss other people were putting money back in the till because they had used the till that day, it must be their mistake because there is an element of trust in this shop so it must be a mistake, wrong change not paying attention.
but how do you tell the boss that his right hand man, the person hes work with for such a long time had been taking the money, dipping in the take to feed his nose, the mangers had tried to but shyed away from this again, and i knew that someone was going to let him get away with it and put the money back.
i accused Daniella at the end of the day in front of one manager, give him some dignity the staff all knew it was him and what was going on but this needed to be done in private away from the staff. i accused and he denied but of course he would, lie come second nature but he will trip up so i carried on as his face went white and he tried to to deny it more but i could not listen to the babbling lies and i could not go back on what id said i believed in what id said and was standing by it then comes the other part of the reaction, aggression. Daniella squared up to me, hes about the same size as me which isn't very big so that didn't phase me or stop me it had to be said and he needed to hear it. it was done and id started to walk away from him, let him leave the shop don't search him just let him go it was out of our hands now and it was left to the boss to deal with it.
for the rest of this weekend iv felt guilty and unsure on what iv accused Daniella of, was i right to do it. id already come to the conclusion that i had gone about it in the wrong way but i am standing by what iv said and my accusation.
handing in the mother of all projects.
since late last December the thought of completing my final year project has been hanging over me like a big grey cloud with the occasional beam of light piercing through as i get a little idea of what i wanted to do, and a year later it completed, handed in and presented in the best way i know how.
the thing that gets me about all this, the big hand in day when that massive piece of work you have sweated, cryed argued and laughed over is submitted well there is nothing after, its just a massive anti climax. yeah the relief of handing it in and not having to look at it again but this is something that you have poured your heart into and at the end of it your sick to the back teeth with and lost all interest.
i suppose I'm like one of the typical males women talk about, the kind that can only do one thing at once, not in the way that i cant change channel and scratch myself at the same time because i have that down to an art but in the way that when i look at something and concentrate i forget or neglect other things.
iv been lucky that my partner as understood the work that i have had to put in and so she has had to endure many of a night sat there watching me click away on my laptop or sketch in my pad. my boss is less understanding as iv not gone into work over the last week and also forgot to ring him to say so.
but my biggest fault is that although this was a large piece of work and major mark to my degree i have in turn neglected my other studies which brings my to a question, what the best way to blag a deadline???
i have a maths assignment due in today at 5pm i have to go to work at 1:30pm until 6pm to try and salvage my part time job, so how do i get round this?
you may be think why is he typing this crap when he could be trying to get this assignment done and handed in before work. but the truth is i know it wont happen and I'm better risking handing it in late with some feeble excuse.
excuse or lie??? that brings me back to what i was saying before. lying and why do people do it. is this going to be one of those lies that are bad or the one that will get away with and is it like the one that irritated most of all, the one about drinking my juice!
the thing that gets me about all this, the big hand in day when that massive piece of work you have sweated, cryed argued and laughed over is submitted well there is nothing after, its just a massive anti climax. yeah the relief of handing it in and not having to look at it again but this is something that you have poured your heart into and at the end of it your sick to the back teeth with and lost all interest.
i suppose I'm like one of the typical males women talk about, the kind that can only do one thing at once, not in the way that i cant change channel and scratch myself at the same time because i have that down to an art but in the way that when i look at something and concentrate i forget or neglect other things.
iv been lucky that my partner as understood the work that i have had to put in and so she has had to endure many of a night sat there watching me click away on my laptop or sketch in my pad. my boss is less understanding as iv not gone into work over the last week and also forgot to ring him to say so.
but my biggest fault is that although this was a large piece of work and major mark to my degree i have in turn neglected my other studies which brings my to a question, what the best way to blag a deadline???
i have a maths assignment due in today at 5pm i have to go to work at 1:30pm until 6pm to try and salvage my part time job, so how do i get round this?
you may be think why is he typing this crap when he could be trying to get this assignment done and handed in before work. but the truth is i know it wont happen and I'm better risking handing it in late with some feeble excuse.
excuse or lie??? that brings me back to what i was saying before. lying and why do people do it. is this going to be one of those lies that are bad or the one that will get away with and is it like the one that irritated most of all, the one about drinking my juice!
why lie?
why is it that my closest friends that i have lived with for the last three years just lie and over something so silly.
i suppose we all lie now and then but when dose it cross the line at what point, i mean its obvious that if you lie about something like stealing money or sleeping with someone then this is obviously wrong, however when you lie about drinking someones juice is this the same or is it acceptable.
ive lied in the past and i suppose i will in the future at some point. we all lie at some point during the day, lets take it when someone you hardly know asks you 'how you are'? and you reply fine thanks, when really your pissed off because you boss wont give time off. thats a lie and yet we do that so easily.
what i cant understand is why lie about something like juice and not feel bad that you have lied to a friend, this baffels me.
my partner made it very clear to me when we first got together that if i was ever to lie to her then it would be over, she said this would be the foundations of our trust. so i said 'ok babe i wont lie but you need to understand that if you ask me something that you dont want to hear then you have to deal with it'.
i started to be very honest with my partner and told her everything, this was something that i have never done before in any other relationship. this has to me made me feel closer to her and its made the relationship solid. what im saying here is not that you should go away and tell your partner everything because you my find that they cant handle the truth, but just be very selective in what you say. and dont lie!
i suppose we all lie now and then but when dose it cross the line at what point, i mean its obvious that if you lie about something like stealing money or sleeping with someone then this is obviously wrong, however when you lie about drinking someones juice is this the same or is it acceptable.
ive lied in the past and i suppose i will in the future at some point. we all lie at some point during the day, lets take it when someone you hardly know asks you 'how you are'? and you reply fine thanks, when really your pissed off because you boss wont give time off. thats a lie and yet we do that so easily.
what i cant understand is why lie about something like juice and not feel bad that you have lied to a friend, this baffels me.
my partner made it very clear to me when we first got together that if i was ever to lie to her then it would be over, she said this would be the foundations of our trust. so i said 'ok babe i wont lie but you need to understand that if you ask me something that you dont want to hear then you have to deal with it'.
i started to be very honest with my partner and told her everything, this was something that i have never done before in any other relationship. this has to me made me feel closer to her and its made the relationship solid. what im saying here is not that you should go away and tell your partner everything because you my find that they cant handle the truth, but just be very selective in what you say. and dont lie!
The first of many
so i was told the best way to try and de-stress was to write down all the things that are at the very front of my mind at present.
well its Wednesday I'm sat in uni two days away from handing in my final year project and a maths essay, 2 hours before i have to sit an oral exam telling some jumped up under payed lecture that i found all their lectures interesting and that i have learnt so much from their ever increasing wisdom. yeah right!!
and yet the one thing I'm thinking about is who the hell drank my juice two days ago!!
you see being a student you like the little luxuries and you all so go through phases of liking thing. well at the minute mine is fresh orange juice, the one with all the bits in. yum.
so i buy a huge carton that would last at least a week. the first couple of days i get up have a shower, get dressed and before rushing out of the house to get to a lecture that i will be late for, i have medium glass of fresh cold orange juice. perfection!
after the first two days i found myself running late and so missed my glass of fresh cold orange juice, however it was still there in the back of my mind thinking about having it when i returned home. this was not to be, as after thinking about it i thought 'its a breakfast drink and ill save it for then'.
three days went by without my juice and like some dessert quenching thirst the thought was still there. on the Sunday i had one of those parties that you always look forward to going to all year tell those who you work with that its 'gonna be a great night, gonna get bladderd' and yet when your there its just crap and you just get alittle drunk so not to say anything to your boss, who is a complete arse at times. yeah you guessed it the WORKS XMAS PARTY.
so iv been to that it was great, i got drunk, got away with out saying anything that i shouldn't and unlike past works parties i came away with my relationship in one piece.
and now the morning after, having drank red wine all night i had a mouth like ghandis flip flop, like the bright light shining through my blinds i had the thought, an image of a glass a medium glass full of fresh cold orange juice. putting one leg out of the bed and the cold running up through under the covers sending me to sink back into my warm bed. but my mouth was dry and i knew it would be worth it, so i made the move i got up and walked to the kitchen, why we need a fridge during these cold months ill never know because i felt cold like never before in that kitchen.
i opened the fridge and there it stood my extra large carton of fresh cold orange juice my medium sized glass at the ready, images running through my mind, my mouth getting even dryer as my mouth was to be part of this evil act of theft.
the carton is empty!!!!!!!!
it in the fridge but its empty!!!!!!
after two glasses of fresh cold orange juice its now in the fridge and very empty!!!!!!
now I'm not being funny but you live with people for 3 years and you get an element of respect and trust, and when asked 'who drank my juice'??
all you get is...... ' not me, i don't like juice, i have my own juice'!!!!
well its Wednesday I'm sat in uni two days away from handing in my final year project and a maths essay, 2 hours before i have to sit an oral exam telling some jumped up under payed lecture that i found all their lectures interesting and that i have learnt so much from their ever increasing wisdom. yeah right!!
and yet the one thing I'm thinking about is who the hell drank my juice two days ago!!
you see being a student you like the little luxuries and you all so go through phases of liking thing. well at the minute mine is fresh orange juice, the one with all the bits in. yum.
so i buy a huge carton that would last at least a week. the first couple of days i get up have a shower, get dressed and before rushing out of the house to get to a lecture that i will be late for, i have medium glass of fresh cold orange juice. perfection!
after the first two days i found myself running late and so missed my glass of fresh cold orange juice, however it was still there in the back of my mind thinking about having it when i returned home. this was not to be, as after thinking about it i thought 'its a breakfast drink and ill save it for then'.
three days went by without my juice and like some dessert quenching thirst the thought was still there. on the Sunday i had one of those parties that you always look forward to going to all year tell those who you work with that its 'gonna be a great night, gonna get bladderd' and yet when your there its just crap and you just get alittle drunk so not to say anything to your boss, who is a complete arse at times. yeah you guessed it the WORKS XMAS PARTY.
so iv been to that it was great, i got drunk, got away with out saying anything that i shouldn't and unlike past works parties i came away with my relationship in one piece.
and now the morning after, having drank red wine all night i had a mouth like ghandis flip flop, like the bright light shining through my blinds i had the thought, an image of a glass a medium glass full of fresh cold orange juice. putting one leg out of the bed and the cold running up through under the covers sending me to sink back into my warm bed. but my mouth was dry and i knew it would be worth it, so i made the move i got up and walked to the kitchen, why we need a fridge during these cold months ill never know because i felt cold like never before in that kitchen.
i opened the fridge and there it stood my extra large carton of fresh cold orange juice my medium sized glass at the ready, images running through my mind, my mouth getting even dryer as my mouth was to be part of this evil act of theft.
the carton is empty!!!!!!!!
it in the fridge but its empty!!!!!!
after two glasses of fresh cold orange juice its now in the fridge and very empty!!!!!!
now I'm not being funny but you live with people for 3 years and you get an element of respect and trust, and when asked 'who drank my juice'??
all you get is...... ' not me, i don't like juice, i have my own juice'!!!!
