Cut up about life
I learned a few things about myself today as I sat in a classroom full of colleagues listening to an Ex Prison guard lecture about mental health, NO I’m not nuts. I learned that I was completely chilled and under a lot less stress now that I am in my new job, life is good right now and telling myself this every now and again is important for me and Tenbellies. The rest of the session was a little more serious and complex as I try to understand issues like Self Harm and dealing with children who suffer from depression and suicide. I have an understanding that children can become depressed and in a society that is crumbling like a cheap biscuit dipped in very poor builder’s tea, what do we expect and with this we have mental health issues that can lead to suicide. Our very selfish world makes for very lonely and isolated people. The hardest thing for me today was to accept Self Harm as a method of dealing with problems, and there is without doubt that through my life and the many issues that have tested me emotionally I have never thought to harm myself in any way to help me to deal with it.
There are many forms of Self Harm but I would like to concentrate on the act of cutting, and over the past 10 years or so its become more acceptable for children and adults to do this and that we are not to prevent but to ensure that it been done correctly and safely until the individual finds another way of dealing with their pain or problem. But the fact that society has made this acceptable and normal makes me think that more children do this without the true understanding but as a statement of identity and act of individualism. Part of my job is to ensure that children are safe, but from who? Society has in one way or another got a hand in the abuse of every child that chooses to deal with their problems but cutting themselves, the break down in communication and support from families is a result in the lack of ability for children to talk about and deal with their problems rationally. The family house hold is slowly disappearing and as parents become younger and the point of having a family that being mum, dad and children all under one roof is slowly evaporating. We stick our children in front of TV’s, computers, nannies, sports, clubs etc with a false knowledge that it is the right thing to do and with exception of a few there is the thinking that as long as their out of your hair you can reclaim some of your life back. But in the process you lose touch with your child and begin to know less about the person they are growing into and the abandonment they feel as they go through the most difficult time of their life. Having children should not be the result of a ten minute knee trembler but in the knowledge that you can give that person the best life possible filled with love and selflessness and in no circumstance inflict pain onto them physically and mentally, never give them a reason to resent you for having them. Its you responsibility not just to that child but the future of your grandchildren and great grandchildren, society because somewhere that has been lost and now we are finding the cracks and the only way to deal with it is to accept it as being normal.
Finally …I read a great post over on News Bleat it’s worth a read, good job Black Sheep.
There are many forms of Self Harm but I would like to concentrate on the act of cutting, and over the past 10 years or so its become more acceptable for children and adults to do this and that we are not to prevent but to ensure that it been done correctly and safely until the individual finds another way of dealing with their pain or problem. But the fact that society has made this acceptable and normal makes me think that more children do this without the true understanding but as a statement of identity and act of individualism. Part of my job is to ensure that children are safe, but from who? Society has in one way or another got a hand in the abuse of every child that chooses to deal with their problems but cutting themselves, the break down in communication and support from families is a result in the lack of ability for children to talk about and deal with their problems rationally. The family house hold is slowly disappearing and as parents become younger and the point of having a family that being mum, dad and children all under one roof is slowly evaporating. We stick our children in front of TV’s, computers, nannies, sports, clubs etc with a false knowledge that it is the right thing to do and with exception of a few there is the thinking that as long as their out of your hair you can reclaim some of your life back. But in the process you lose touch with your child and begin to know less about the person they are growing into and the abandonment they feel as they go through the most difficult time of their life. Having children should not be the result of a ten minute knee trembler but in the knowledge that you can give that person the best life possible filled with love and selflessness and in no circumstance inflict pain onto them physically and mentally, never give them a reason to resent you for having them. Its you responsibility not just to that child but the future of your grandchildren and great grandchildren, society because somewhere that has been lost and now we are finding the cracks and the only way to deal with it is to accept it as being normal.
Finally …I read a great post over on News Bleat it’s worth a read, good job Black Sheep.
5 comments:
At testing times in my life I have always found inflicting harm on deserving others very theraputic.
Now that i can understand,
I found witnessing Thud inflicting harm on deserving others very theraputic!
I find just IMAGINING inflicting harm on deserving others to be a form of release. :-)
Thanks for the compliment, good Sir. You refer to the "Time to stop and take a breath" post. There's a new one on top of it, "Time is like a wall", which no doubt most will see more as philosophy than anything else, but I hope someone gets the message.
Okay, now for the serious stuff: I didn't know until now that you work with mentally unsettled people. Good for you. It's a difficult occupation. I went to college for awhile intending to be a clinical psychologist, but though life got in the way of that goal, I learned enough to realize how very little I'd learned.
Population pressure is only one cause of mental problems, though I do think it's a major one. But underlying pretty much all human behavior is our dysfunctionality. Our inability to love, to apologize, to admit our wrongs and offer amends, to forgive, to give of ourselves... It's so much easier to respond with hostility. The worse our environment becomes, the more dysfunctional and hostile we become. The more self-protective we become.
I guess that's why self-harm seems like such a contrary thing to do, but it's either that or totally lose it and go amok, which would be far worse for ourselves. One has to let off steam somehow and pain can be pleasure if you stimulate enough endorphin production.
I think the cure for cutting would be chocolate. Lots of chocolate, which has this lovely little chemical in it that gives us the same feeling that being in love gives us. Love endorphins. When we feel loved, we feel safe. When we feel safe we don't feel nearly as much outside pressure, so we don't feel a need to strike out at others and so we wouldn't need to harm ourselves to stop us from going amok.
Makes sense to me anyway.
Great comment and your right about the chocolate, people should eat more chocolate and be happy but again this is something that is constantly slammed in the media through healthy eating and because society is selfish we are also vain which stops us from eating the things that make us feel good from time to time.
“I didn't know until now that you work with mentally unsettled people. Good for you. It's a difficult occupation.”
Not entirely right, I do however work with children through education. The sad thing is this is a common thing to experience as more and more children have less of a clue in how to deal with their problems. Teen years are supposed to be the best years of your life, I kind of think it’s the most dangerous in these current times.
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